Sun, Gemini, 13°58'
On this day my vessel has been thrown around the solar system 26 times. I’ve celebrated by eating cake for lunch and getting flowers from my favourite boys (my partner and my dad – du'h). Worked for six hours in an office without ventilation and took a stroll in the sun. Crushed my heavy squats workout and ate half a huge take-out pizza. And my present to myself was Megan Crabbe's book on body positivity.
I think it neatly reflects my life; the balance between responsibility and fun, the softness and the hardness of it. Because, as I turn 26 my life is extremely good. And I tend to forget about it in the midst of my internal highs and lows.
Moon, Cancer, 26°55'
I’m still very much in love, with my best friend, partner and soulmate. It’s the most casual and most profound thing in my life all at once. I commit to strength and taking care of my body by lifting and doing yoga ever so often. The barbell has become a source of meditation and growth. I don't have as many friends as I used to, and I've traded my love for pubs with a love for a stable mental health and economy. My social weekends usually consist of D&D sessions and candy, and though my past self would cringe at the thought of it, I really enjoy it. I'm still at a place in my career where I don't know what I'm doing, if I'm good at what I'm doing or if I'll ever be. But gosh darn it, I love programming. And working life (at a tech company) isn't half bad either.
I feel safe. Safe in my body, safe in my relationships, safe at home, safe in the world.
Ascendant, Leo, 22°56'
I've learned to learn a lot this year, which is new to me. I've become shyer in larger groups of people and less shy in my relationships. Even more outspoken and probably quite a pain in the ass most of the time. I've stopped jumping headfirst into discussions, trying to counteract and confront every sexist or homophobic remark – I don't have the energy to feel like it's my job anymore. I listen a lot, which I .. haven't really done before. I've gotten a real ugly, authentic laugh. I'm probably way less likeable now than what I used to be.
But I like whatever it is that I have going on. And even though I'm not the biggest fan of birthdays, I figured I owed myself to write me a little note:
Babe, you're doing alright.